How do I?

How do I talk to my mom about being suicidal and depressed? I’ve been depressed since I was 12, and my first suicide attempt was when I was 13 and I attended a therapy session but throughout the time my mom and sister were filling in how I felt and what I liked to do at the time. And just dismissed me like that. Since then I hadn’t gone back because I felt that if I did it was just going to go away.

So here I am 17 and still depressed, still more miserable, and my mom thinks that my depression is all gone and better, but as time grew on, not only did it get worse, but I felt as if My depression was either faked or getting worse.

I’ve been meaning to get better, for myself and for my current boyfriend, but I don’t know how to talk to her about my depression

I can’t afford therapy sessions because I don’t have a job, and babysitting only makes diddly crap.