TW - Long post

Trigger warning - Graphic story and photos.

It's been a pretty stressful month. It's been 2 months since I found out that I was pregnant. On the 8th of this month I went to the ER because I had some cramping. I was 10w6d. The sweetest technician did my ultrasound and sent it to the radiologist so they could have the ER doctor give me the diagnosis and info. The technician couldn't tell me anything but her facial expression got dimmer as we continued. Once I got back to my room, the doctor came in and told me that my sweet baby was measuring at 6 weeks and had no heartbeat. They told me to see my obgyn, gave me paperwork on threatened miscarriages and sent me home.

I had my first prenatal appointment scheduled for 12/7 (I thought that was weird since I'd be 12w5d) so they rescheduled for 12/11, my grandma's death date. When we arrived to the appointment the doctor seemed slightly nice, I explained and she did the ultrasound. No growth, measuring 6 weeks with no heartbeat. She said sorry and whatnot and proceeded to give me my 3 options. I chose the pills, so I could pass my baby at home, with my fiance. She told me I had to go to Planned Parenthood if I wanted the pills, I decided to continue with my decision. She then continued to talk to me about the iud since this pregnancy was unplanned. It really frustrated me but I get it. We left and I made the planned parenthood appt for 12/13.

When I got there, the intake lady was slightly rude and mentioned terminating the pregnancy. It hurt because I terminated a pregnancy at that planned parenthood, in the past.. I told her that I had already had a miscarriage and just needed the pills to pass the baby and the remaining tissue, she ignored me. Once I saw the doctor, I was relieved since we had met before. She did the ultrasound, said the same thing but couldn't confirm anything since she had nothing to compare it to. I waited a week and I came back this Thursday, 12/20. We did another ultrasound and confirmed that my baby was gone. I took the first pill, got the RHOgam and was sent on my way with the other pill, along with tons of paperwork.

When I woke up the next day I was already bleeding but had no cramping. I took care of blood, took the 4 pills and it was horrible. I passed 3 lemon sized clots along with tons of blood. I took a shower and passed another clot. I can't properly describe it, it was sooo painful. I just got out and went to sleep. I woke up the next day and still had cramping with heavy bleeding. Barely any clots. The cramps were the worst part about the day. Here I am today, I woke up this morning and passed another clot and I l believe it was the baby. It was especially surprising since I thought I was done. After that, I haven't any pain or clots. We shall see how this ends up. I hope I passed everything, it seems like I did.

I'm sorry this is so long. I figured it might help someone in the slightest way since reading other peoples stories have helped me. Here are some photos I have collected over these past months..

Oct 23

Oct 24

Around early Nov

A few days before the ER visit

Obgyn appt on 12/11

Planned parenthood appt - #1 - 12/13

Planned parenthood appt - #2 - 12/20

***********GRAPHIC IMAGES************

My sweet angel on the left. A lot more visible in person.

I'll be burying my sweet one in a little bonsai tree, soon. Feeling empty, sad, confused and all sorts of other emotions, currently. I hope this gets better soon. Thank you everyone, I appreciate you taking the time to read.