Went to my prenatal appointment on 10/17/18 and I was41 weeks. I had a lot of anxiety related high.bloid pressure all through pregnancy. This time I sent in and it was 140 something over I can't remember what. So I could be with for them to call me to see the Dr. Finally I'm in an exam room and the Dr wants to check my no herself, which is unlike her. She reche ks and seems very concerned and actually sits down. She gives me 2 options: go home and monitor my BP closely or go over to labor and delivery and get induced. She said since I live 40mi from hospital the first option is kinda risky. The 2nd option made more sense since I was already overdue anyway and wasn't even dilated a little bit. After some panicky tears I decided to go ahead to labor and delivery.

Me and my bf get over there and they get me situated in a room. Everyone's so kind and I'm not feeling as scared. They get me on pitocin and get all the monitors going. I'm feeling no pain at this point. A while later they come to check me and put this balloon thingy g up in my cervix I guess to help dilate. It was very painful. After that things progress and they tell me everything looking good.

It took a while but the contraction finally become too uncomfortable to talk through and I'm feeling it all in my back. This goes on for ages it seems and I've kinda lost track of time. They keep asking if I want an epidural and I refuse and refuse till finally the pain is way too much.

So I'm moaning through each contraction by now and they bring the guy in to do the epidural. He's over there setting up and then comes and says he needs to have a not so nice talk with us. He says he saw in my file that I'd had a traumatic brain injury when I was younger and there's a chance the epidural could cause my cranial pressure to go up and my brain stem could fall thru.. I start sobbing and shaking. He just keeps saying he's not comfortable giving the epidural but it's up to me. I absolutely refuse it and continue crying.

I lay back down and the pain is all that exists. Some to.e later they get me positioned to push. Nothing happens for forever cuz his head is back behind my pelvic bone but he finally moves down.

I start giving up but everyone's cheering me on.

I push for a lifetime and finally the worst burning feeling starts. They urge me to push big and Maddox is born.

They plop him onto my chest and begin stitching a 2nd degree tear. After this I can't remember much.

Maddox born 10/18/18 4:40 am. 9.5lbs 22in.