So, I've been talking to this guy. He's really sweet and understanding and kinky in text. We started sexting and sending nudes after a month of getting to know each other. Was going good... But he really wants me to swallow and that's okay too even though I've never done it before... But I'm now remembering that I did.

So we are sexting and he's telling me how I'm going to gag on his cock and stuff... And he's been saying it over and over and each time it's making me a little uncomfortable (but I'm going with it cos he's into it) and then I had this instant flash back to about 8 years ago when I was a senior in high school.

Was supposed to met with this promoter for a job.. Friends have been hired by him. So they tell me to contact him, he's good, makes good money. So I do.

Teen me waiting at home >hear knock>2 guys at the door>open door. He doesn't say hi or anything, but says "where is your bed room?" I point to the hall and he grabs me and throws me on the bed, takes my pants off... I'm so in shock, I didn't fight I was just stund and he was so fast... He fucks me on the bed for like a few minutes and grabs my hair to being me on my knees and fucks my mouth and cums down my throat. I felt like throwing up immediately and he zipps his pants and leaves with his friends. Still on the floor thinking I'm going to gag, shaking..

Next day I tried to tell my friend gladis. But just as I was working my way up to telling her, she told me some sort of happy news and I didn't want to bring her down. So I decided to go to planned parenthood and get std test. I kept telling myself it was just for the free contraceptives.. It wasn't. And then I remembered never thinking of it again.

I can't believe I suppressed such a thing. In the middle of sexting I'm just crying. Immediately remember every detail. I remember feeling it was my fault for opening the door. Couldn't tell my mom because I wasn't even supposed to have anyone over. I was 17, this man was about 26 at the time. People talk about rape and its never triggered me before but sexting about getting gagged consensually did I guess.

I don't know if I should tell this guy I'm talking to about or what. I just wish I could repress it again because there's nothing I can do about it now.

Sorry guys, I just wanted some support, maybe someone who could relate anything. I haven't told anyone.