Self harm- depression

After doing a test today and getting another negative I’m sick of it, everyone around me having baby after baby, we are tried meds and weird positions, different diets I even lost weigh and nothing, and now I get so pissed at my body for not working all I want to do is cut myself, after 2 years I expected to be a mum by now, genuinely questioned taking my life a month or so back so that my partner could move on and be happy with someone else and actually have kids -.- stupid I know, just needed to vent because I can’t give in, I need to stay strong for when I finally get my BNF xx