Disconnected from husband

Sorry for the long post, just need to vent/need advice. So, I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, and right now I just feel so lost. I feel like we are just roommates, and no longer have that connection. We have been ttc our first for a little over 3 years now, and I think the stress of it all has gotten to both of us, especially recently with multiple failed <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> procedures. We both work full time, but he works A LOT (7 days a week) which doesn’t help with his stress. He drinks a lot, and I think that all of the stress lately has made it worse. He comes home from work, and drinks every night. He goes into the kitchen, watches a podcast, and tunes me out. It hurts my feelings. He never wants to leave the house or do anything. I have tried to talk to him about his drinking, and he shuts down. He admits it’s an issue, but he does nothing to fix it. He gets mad when I bring it up.

We did go out last night, and it was the first date night/ night out we’ve had since last February. I was disappointed because he stayed on his phone a lot and I just felt so upset. Recently we have been fighting a lot bc he never wants to go anywhere, yet he will go to a bar with his buddies after work. At first it was once a week, which I was totally ok with, but now it’s turned into at least 3-4 times a week. He gets off of work like 3 hours bf me, so he beats me home and thinks that I won’t know about the bar, but he always gets cash from the atm there so I see it on the bank account. 🤦🏽‍♀️I have had numerous conversations with him, saying I’m not ok with him going this much, and he sees nothing wrong with it at all. He says that I’m overreacting, that I’m in the wrong, and that he’s just having a beer with his buddies. The fact that he continues to get cash there Knowing I’ll see it on the account makes me feel that he doesn’t care if I know, but also doesn’t care how I feel about it. He said that he likes to go there to relive stress. Am I crazy/overreacting?? We also aren’t intimate as much as I want to be. Usually like once a month, and it’s so predictable. I try to initiate it sometimes, but he’s turned me down before, and that hurts. It’s especially frustrating when you are ttc, and not hitting your fertile window. Basically I feel my chances are with the <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a>, and I’ve had 5 of those fail. 😓

It’s all taking a toll on me, and I feel like I’m crazy and about to have a mental breakdown. I don’t really have many friends, especially who understand what I’m going through, so I’m just looking for some support/advice.