It's a long read but, I'm desperate!!! I need to know if the feeling of constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop ever goes away!?

A little back story. I am in my second marriage. My first began when I was 15 and we were together 15 years. There were lies, lots of cheating, and physical abuse. 2014 I was finally strong enough to walk away.

Began dating my current husband in 2016 and married this past March. However, summer of 2017 he started acting different so, I broke up with him sure enough there was another woman in the picture. We stayed apart for just over 2 months. He begged me back. I went. We havent really had any other issues since. There has never been any abuse, he is my best friend, he almost never goes anywhere other than work without me. I am so in love with this man. Yet, terrified the past will repeat itself. I am so scared of losing him. Like right now he says he went to take his crew out for drinks. That's been 3+ hours ago. So, I am home going crazy in my own head so worried about what he's actually doing.

Ofcourse, I try to hide this insecurities from him. But, something about today feels off I have a very strong intuition and connection with him. I knew about the other woman in 2017 simply by him changing lock screen pic. And a few other even more minor things.

Usually if he takes the guys out he posts it on social media today, nothing!

I dont want to start an argument if this is nothing. And I firmly believe everything done in the dark comes to the light so, I am not one for snooping. I just dont want to be blindsided.

I know this was long. I just need to know will it ever go away? I have a condition that I am not supposed to have stress and yet here I am even when maybe nothing is wrong I am stressing

Someone please help!!!

Update**

Well I may have ruined it all!! Once he got home I let my nerves get the best of me. I dont hide things well and he knows me as well as I know him so when he kept asking what's wrong I gave in and told him what I thought. Now he feels trapped like he did in his past marriage. And wants out b.c. of my insecurities.

The reason no social media is b.c. he took them to the strip club(which I have no problem with)

I just wish he would've told me so I wouldve known and not allowed mind to wander.

This post isnt about cheating or not!? And it's not a post of should I stay or should I go!?

This post is to find someone who has been through infidelity and been able to leave it in the past and not feel as though you are just always waiting for the next time? Please i have to know if my craziness will ever subside

Thank you