Not feeling the holidays this year

Au

Well in 2018. Christmas sucked bc I’m dealing with PPD and we spent the night st my MIL’a house with a newborn and just a car seat. Her house is a tiny apt so no room for a pack n play or anything. So I was just anxious and miserable the whole night bc I had to hold LO for 6 hours straight

Tonight, even worse. I told my husband I wasn’t in the mood bc again, dealing with PPD and believe me when I say I don’t care about the new year and the ball dropping

I don’t want to be around other people and put on a fake ass smile when I’m dying inside.

But he doesn’t “get it”. So I’m here crying, waiting for him to come home and everyone else to arrive while I deal with my inner demons.

It sucks.