I have been struggling to conceive for many months now. No clear reason why it's not happening, but it's not. And I'm just so broken. My husband is in the other room, all excited to BD on New Year's, and I'm just so sad and broken. There's a married couple of comic book artists who post on social media. They document their married life, and we have always found them relatable. They started trying to conceive a couple months ago, and they published several comics depicting their "struggle." It was so down to earth, and made me feel a little less alone. However, the latest comic they posted is them embracing, celebrating a positive test exclaiming "we did it." I can't explain how upset I am, but I just broke down. I don't even know these people, but I loved their posts on social media. Now I'm just aching. Wow, took them a whole 2 cycles! How stressful right? Now I'm just more convinced than ever of how broken I am. My husband didn't mention the comic to me, and he usually posts them to my wall every week. Clearly, to protect my feelings. Now I don't even want to celebrate. The few positive steps I made this last couple of weeks were just derailed because it feels like every young healthy couple gets pregnant within a few months of trying, except us. I know it's not true, but I feel like a freak. And all these glow messages chirping at me that my fertile window is starting, so start having sex now! I don't even feel like it. It's such a futile joke at this point.