(Sorry it’s long)

Back story for you

So I have 6 week old baby! He is my world I love him so bloody much words just can’t describe.

Well my partner and I were together for a year and then broke up for about 2/3 weeks of December 2017 got back together and it was all long distance and I fell pregnant and moved to where he is(note I was already moving to be close to him and the rest of my family) I ended up living with nan and slowly moved in with him and his 2 year old and his parents he didn’t want me to leave and I didn’t want to either as my car shit its self and hasn’t moved since well the hole year was just shit he was cheating on me every chance he got with the girls he was with when we broke up I gave him chance after chance 2-3 weeks after having our baby boy and thinking it was all over one of the girls messages me again😥 it ending in him and I fighting and him telling me he told her to “fuck off” after going threw his phone I blocked her on his Snapchat and deleted her nudes of his phone about 3 days later she’s made it clear to me she isn’t going to stop what she is doing anyway I block her all again after a massive fight with her and him. Now it’s been like 3 weeks past that Ive got ppd and my partner and I fight every chance we get (yes I start them) I’ve just got so much anger and don’t trust him! And he knows that

anyway my birthday was 3 days ago and I had a dinner with my family and his.my dad is staying with my nan atm due to leaving his gf and moving into a new house, so nan said she could take my baby boy for the night if I wanted to go out with my cousin I could so I said okay thank you! So about 12 o’clock at night here I am fighting at the place we had dinner at with my partner coz he didn’t want to go out and didn’t want me to saying I’m a bad mum and that I need to grow up blah blah blah I was as calm as trying to get threw to him that it’s my 21st and I’ve gone no where or done nothing coz I’m always at home with the kids (not that I mind) but it’s gotten to the point I can’t even go down town with my cousin coz she’s a “ bad influence” 🙄 she’s 19 and a virgin never even kissed a guy. Anyway I win we go out we get to the club play pool have a couple of drinks by 1:30 he was ready to leave I said I wasn’t before I even got to say give me half an hr he threw his drink down and took off so I stayed and danced till my cousins step brother got kicked out so we left at 2:30 waiting to be picked up we had another fight he called me a cunt and my cousins step brother wanted to fight him! They left and we got picked up by my parents mum at 3 we got home after fighting down the Main Street and we talked about everything but as always I bring up how I feel it’s a short convo and then we have sex!! Now since then I can’t leave his side! I went and saw my dad today and left my little man with him while I had a swim at my cousins I left around 4:30 and was home by 8-8:30 after him pretty much begging me to! I got home and he said don’t leave me again I missed you!! He has been talking a lot about getting married also!! He talks a lot on Snapchat and I ask him to delete a girl coz I feel uncomfortable with it had he says okay but never does! And now I have my mum carrying on about how I spend to much time away from my baby! When I left him for 5 hrs the night I went out and for about an hr today!! I feel so trapped like I don’t know if I love this man or if I’m scared to be alone! I’m starting to feel controlled here!? Am I wrong in thinking that !?