I personally am 17 and never had a boyfriend (by choice as I wanted to concentrate on my path in education and also I was afraid of my parents and family who are all against relationships especially before university- they made me not even think that there is a possibility to get into a relationship so I was never thinking about it).

In the past at least 2 years though I am finding myself falling in love a lot compared to earlier years. 🙈❤️

Specifically speaking, I liked a boy 3 years older than me for two years, I got over it in Spring 2018 (as there was no way I would ever get to know him)

Then in late Summer 2018 I started liking a boy my age that is a mutual friend with many many many friends of mine (so it is easy to meet him anytime I want, my friends have already asked me that when I am ready they can arrange something for me).

Fan fact: they are both Libras in zodiac (so I guess I am into libras) 😂

The point is that, yes I want to meet a boy my type and hang out with him, and show him all my love but I am not sure if I am confident and ready enough for a relationship still. Well, I’d be if my family wasn’t involved. And if I do get into a relationship, it must be extremely serious (meaning not childish and immature, no many sexual contacts ie. no sex at the moment, not many posts on social media, if any, and very respectful) and allow me time to study as well (respecting my goals and motivating me achieving them).

The thing is that it will be a secret from my family, at least until I get into university. And this is not bad to me because I know how to control and respect myself, and I am the only one who knows what is good for me and what is not.

I don’t know... Sometimes I feel that if I was in a relationship, I would have a kind of support and love nobody managed to give me up to now. Neither my family nor my friends. I would get some kind of love that could boost me up. The idea of knowing that you are somebody’s and somebody is yours just seems twice the power that a single person has. It’s such a boost of confidence knowing that someone chose you over so many girls out there. And finally, it is important for me to have a person to talk to about my issues, thoughts, ideas and beliefs freely, knowing that he cares to give me the best advice, just because I am also a part of him. Friends could be snakes in such situations (as many of us have experienced in many situations).

I wrote this post because I am confused and I hope that you’ll respect that. I’d like some advice from you so that I can clear up my mind a bit. Some personal experience would be good as well. Thank you very much for your attention. Happy New Year!❤️