Done having kids?

Question

How did you know you were done? I currently have a 19 month old son and am 21 weeks pregnant with our second son. When I found out that this one was a boy I was disappointed only because I had only ever seen myself having two kids, one boy and one girl. I have never wanted 3 kids and even if we did have 3 we would have to get a bigger house and a bigger vehicle. I’m 23 years old and after I have this baby I planned on getting an IUD and not do anything permanent like tubes tied or my husband have a vasectomy until I’m 30 just in case I change my mind. I’m concerned if we don’t try for a 3rd I’ll always wonder about a little girl, but if we do try and it’s another boy then that’s 3 boys! Don’t get me wrong I’d love all of them with everything I have but like I said I never imagined myself with 3 kids but have always seen myself with a daughter. Anyone else felt this way or gone through this?

Answer

I’m in just exactly the same boat! I am having my second boy. I always wanted the experience of having a daughter but I’m not sure if we want 3, plus like you say, there is always the chance of not getting a girl. The one difference is that I have always at least considered having 3 or 4, it’s just a different lifestyle (no getaway vacations, pretty kid-oriented life/social scene, tighter finances, need a bigger car, a lot of our friends and family aren’t having kids or if they do, aren’t having bigger families so I’m worried we would feel isolated.. etc.) Plus I’m already 31. If I was you though, give it another 6-7 years and decide then!! You still have sooooo much time. I’m jelly! Would have loved to start at 23 :)

Answer

My sister for sure. She had 3 older children from a previous relationship, 2 girls and a boy. Then she had 2 other children (both girls) and then go with her current boyfriend. She had a girl and just recently had her 2nd with him, which was a girl as well. She cried. She wants another son since her older son is now 14, and out of 7 kids, he is now her only son. She is even more devastated because her bf just got diagnosed with cancer and there is a very large chance he could end up becoming sterile. She is still wanting to try for a son. Obviously she loves all of her kids the same but has always wanted another son :(

Answer

I just knew I was done after 3 (I was 23) and got my tubes tied.  Had them untied at 28 and had another baby at 30.  Now having one more at 37.  Thinking I’m getting my tubes removed with this csection to minimize cancer risk because we are really done.  I’m glad you’re not getting tubal yet.  Life changes and you don’t have to have it all figured out.  Just let yourself be in the moment.  Give yourselves the freedom to figure it out as you go!

Answer

IUD is a great option. I would be leaving it for a few years. It's crazy what might happen between now and 30. It seems like a long time but you are still very young. I know when i was your age i thought 30 was well......pushing it, im now 39 and pregnant with baby number 3 wishing it wasn't my last baby. I think IUD is a good safe option 
Good luck 🤗

Answer

I have 2 sons from my first marriage, they are now 8 and 5. I had my tubes tied at the hospital with my 5 year old. I then got divorced,  and later met my husband. He has a 7 year old son from a past relationship. We paid over $6,000 to get my tubes untied, have semen analyzed, get hsg and cannulation done, and had 1 iui and clomid to conceive our now 19 month old son, and before my first post partum period got pregnant with our youngest son who is now 8 months old. Yes, you read that right, they are 11 months apart, and a total of 5 boys! We looked into adoption through foster care, but were unable to proceed at this time due to the limit of children in a foster home in Tennessee. We have a larger home, but in Tennessee no more than 5 children in a foster home, even though our 3 oldest are with their other parent 50% of the time. So we found out at Thanksgiving we were expecting, but unfortunately miscarried at 6 weeks. We want to try one more time for a girl, because we both desperately want a baby girl and cant imagine our lives without a daughter. But I will be 32 this month, and I have already decided that 32 is my cut off. So if we dont conceive this year we will be done. I am so disappointed every month when the test is a bfn yet again, and start torturing myself with "what if I cant get pregnant,  or if I do and miscarry again" so I am now wondering if we should just give up all together and try to move forward knowing we won't have a dauggter....sorry this was way longer than I planned.

Answer

I’m 24 weeks with my second and my husband and I decided that we’re not having anymore than 3. We have a boy and are expecting a girl so I would honestly be okay with only having two. We’re just going to wait until she’s at least a year until we make any solid decisions on baby number 3. I always saw myself having 4 but now there’s no way. I just can’t do that many. I think it’s smart to not make any permanent decisions for a while just in case!

Answer

I have 2 girls and I’m also 23 I will be getting my tubes tied because I’m fine with two  plus waiting on my fiancée to get a vasectomy we will have 18 kids by then lol. I had the IUD after my first child but during every period it would be hanging out of my cervix and ended up coming out and the depo shot I was on my period for 6 months straight and birth control pills gave me high blood pressure and I was always sick and in pain. So my only option is tying my tubes but if I want more kids I will always adopt I’m sad I didn’t give my SO his boy but hey we wouldn’t trade our girls for nothing in this world. Plus adopting is something I really want to do and we can give a kid a better life then they currently had.

Answer

I didn’t have my first until 30 (IVF baby), and my second followed shortly afterwards (20 months apart).  I’m done at this point but my husband, who always said he wanted no more that two, has now said three is a good number...

Both of my boys were csections, and both were big boys (10 and then 11 pound babies).  My pregnancy was harder with #2 too.  Nope.... I’m good, thank you.

Done having kids?

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