Should I tell him how I really feel?

⚠️LONG Read, but I need opinions. On what I should do to help my relationship.

It feels like I’m pushing my boyfriend away slowly. I love him so much and I know he loves me just as much. But unconsciously I know that some of the things I’ve been doing lately have been hurting him.

I’ve had a history of depression. And it’s slowly creeping back up during Christmas holidays with all the things I’m dealing with in my family. My moms an horrible alcoholic and watching her deteriorate at the rate she’s has, it’s the number one cause of the way I’m feeling. My grandpa is a gambling addict and i hate watching him waste his 1000-2000 dollar checks away. I have to watch my grandma suffer everyday with both my mom and my grandpa and it hurts me because I love her so much.

My boyfriend knows the situation I’m in and I’ve even cried to him about it before, but I don’t think he knows how much it actually affects my mental.

Earlier we got into it about him getting upset at me over little things and he said he just felt like I was pushing him away because I was saying no to him a lot. Which I have I’m not in the mood for anything anymore, no sex, no dates, I just want to be at home and lay in bed.

I feel selfish that I can’t be happy for him.