I don’t know how I should be feeling right now. My partner and I had a surprise pregnancy back in November which we lost shortly after. That time in between was beautiful and exciting and we both agreed we would try again

We tried in December hoping for a Christmas miracle but it was most likely just too soon.... flash forward to last night, I’m in my fertile window and was trying to snuggle with him and like every other time, get things going, which is never a problem. He told me no. All I ever want is to get him hard and have him inside me. Immediately stopped what I was doing in shock and rolled away from him. That statement knocked the breathe out of me.

First things first - just to clarify. We have always had an amazing and active sex life, on average once a day sometimes more, I’ve come to notice upon my night of sleeplessness and hurt on the sofa, that 98% of the time I’m the one initiating anything.... also keep in mind he works out of town two weeks a month, one week on one week off....

This was the second thing he said to me today that made me feel broken....

I don’t know what to think or how to communicate that I don’t just want his touch or to be touched to get pregnant. In fact other than agreeing to try again right away and that 2019 his goal, as he said to me was to put a baby in me..... that’s all that’s been said ....

I’m hurt and I can’t explain it .... is he getting cold feet? Purposely pushing me away? Purposely hurting me?