Hi, I am 36, almost 37 and we have the most perfect 18 month old daughter. Before having her I had 3 miscarriages so my pregnancy with her consisted of numerous hospital appointments and scans, along with bad anxiety and panic attacks. Her heart rate dropped when in labour and we were rushed to theatre to deliver. I decided I couldn’t go through it again and was happy to only have her. However, we found out we were expecting again when she was 10 months old. I was so anxious as I didn’t think this was what I wanted but once I heard the babies heartbeat we were excited. I still worried a lot and at our next scan, true to form, no heartbeat, we lost our baby boy. I have cried quite a lot over this but once again we have decided that we are one and done. I feel like I am torturing myself by reading posts from people who say you must have two kids, that they were an only child and it was so lonely etc etc and I am feeling real pressure and guilt but I also know going through another pregnancy would be tough on our whole family, surely we have had enough heartache?

I am close to my sister but it works one way a lot of the time, I do a lot more for her than she does for me. People say what about when you pass, your daughter will be left to deal with taking care of everything on her own, but having a sibling doesn’t guarantee closeness. My husband has 2 brothers and one of them has distanced himself from the family. My father in-law had one brother and they didn’t speak for 30 years, not even when their parents passed. My friend had one brother and unfortunately he passed away a few years back so technically she is now an only living child and will have to deal with her parents getting ill/ passing away on her own. One of my sets of cousins are not close at all as sisters. Their parents split up and one was close to their dad and one their mum and they don’t speak to the other parent. The dad passed away and one sister dealt with it all whilst the other didn’t shed a tear.

Sorry for my rant, I just feel that this whole YOU HAVE TO HAVE AT LEAST TWO KIDS puts so much pressure on us who have struggled to have one and also we do not life in a world, unfortunately, were there are guarantees even if you have siblings. 😢