Long post.. Stay tuned!

So ever since I had my first child, my relationship with my mother n law has went to shit. It all started the night she showed up after I asked her not to come after 8pm, yet she did anyways and woke my sleeping newborn up. Then before my daughter’s first birthday, her daughter lived with us.. My husband moved before then for a job and we were moving shortly after but let her stay until the time came. We bought her school supplies, food, etc. Then she stole a phone from school so I found the owner, returned it, and then made her leave our home after she stole my friend’s sweater. I kindly asked her to bring the sweater to my daughter’s first birthday, and she refused and went running to her mom (my mother n law). My mother n law then texted me saying I was a horrible wife, a manipulative bitch, etc etc. All because I expected my sister n law to return the sweater she stole. I was nothing short of respectful then she started threatening to slap me and didn’t show to my daughter’s birthday because unlike me, she’s “not lazy” and works. (I’m a SAHM). She accused me of being the reason my daughter got HFM... I then forgave her 6 months later. Throughout my whole marriage, she’s expected my husband to pay for her things and tells him how ungrateful he is if he says no. We are now expecting another and have to budget because honestly, anyone new in the military don’t make much. She called my husband and said she deserves a monthly allowance, and that he doesn’t have to tell me about it. She makes her kids support her and the moment they say no, she calls them ungrateful and said their job as adults is to take care of her. She expected a $400-500 coat for Christmas and got mad that she didn’t get it.

Anytime my husband says no (he never says yes) she blames me, and tells him how I don’t take good care of our daughter. (She’s 2, she wears just a diaper a lot since we are at home, and my mother n law accuses me when my daughter gets sick). Am I wrong for cutting her off? And not letting her in the room when I give birth to our second? My husband will be deployed when I give birth so i know she will accuse me of only acting this way because he’s not here when in reality, it’s the way she talks about me to their family members. She undermines me as a parent and ignores what I say when it comes to my daughter and know she will do the same with our son. I don’t know if I should feel guilty for this or not 😭