To make a long story short, my father has been emotionally, verbally and financially abusive my whole life; particularly towards my mother.

After 20 years of an unhappy and toxic marriage , she finally left him. It was a messy, aggressive (on his half) situation that’s taken a while for us all to recover from. It’s been 2 years now and he is STILL going on like it all happened yesterday. He’s a drunk, angry, controlling man who thinks the sun shines out of his ass and that he’s never done anything wrong.

ANYWAY i am pregnant. My mum and sister are the only family I have (we’re immigrants) so it’s a big deal to be adding another one to our small but tight clan. Now yesterday my father found out I was pregnant (small town news travels fast) and he seems to think I need to put aside all the years of emotional scarring and be nice to him? My partner and I both decided he will not be apart of our babies life whatsoever as we don’t want my baby to grow up with the toxic ideals he tried to raise me with. Am I wrong in doing this? Yes he’s my father but he’s outright fucking crazy, he’s arrested at least once a month, in court all the time for who knows what, lost his license, crashed his car, the list goes on.

We have all tried so hard to help him get better but it’s hard to help someone who doesn’t think there’s angering wrong with them.

My mum is a bit old fashioned in the way she thinks meaning she thinks he should be in his grandchild’s life just because he’s my biological father, but to me he isn’t my family. He means nothing to me and I really don’t want to expose my kid to his bullshit.

Sorry if this makes no sense lol