I don’t know if this is the right group to be posting this in, but last week I slept over at my boyfriend’s house for the first time. I’m seventeen, he’s eighteen and in his first year of college, and we’ve been dating for three months. There’s a lot of tension between him and his mother because for one, he has Asperger’s Syndrome and she treats him like she did when he was younger, even though he’s matured and his development is miraculous considering how he used to be. (His words) He passes off as “normal,” unless you’re around him for an extended period of time. Not to mention, she doesn’t approve of his life decisions, and they’re not even bad, just not what she wanted I guess. Anyways, so I get there and she brings some stuff up to his room. She wants him to set up the Alexa thingy or whatever, but you need an app for it and he didn’t have it so she takes his phone and starts doing a bunch of shit with it besides that. She’s sitting in his brother’s room which is literally RIGHT outside his. He said she never goes through his phone, but of course she does it RIGHT NOW.) He gets very stressed. It could be our sexts (I was stressed about that) the porn in his internet history, or just the fact that he wanted to call his friend while he played GTA. But they start arguing about his phone and the fact that he wanted it back, and that he wanted to be alone with me. Then she says “Well, if I can’t be outside this door, maybe you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing.” He says “Well, I’m eighteen.” She says “Yeah, well she’s not.” (Meanwhile, the age of consent here is seventeen and we had just lost our virginity together THE DAY BEFORE, so what does it matter, but she doesn’t know that and doesn’t need to.) To my surprise, his parents let us sleep in the same bed. We don’t do anything. It’s a rule in his house that everyone has to take a shower in the morning. Before this though, him and I go downstairs for breakfast and he offers me a Poptart. I say yes. As I’m finishing mine and he’s in the shower, she comes into the kitchen and is like “Do you really want to be eating that right now? You should eat a bowl of oatmeal or something.” (She seemed sort of irritated?) Then he gets out of the shower and she’s trying to get me take one?! And I’m like “Well, I don’t know if I can here, there’s a bar at home that I need, (I have Cerebral Palsy) I’m very prone to slipping so I need to put a towel on the floor, I don’t have my own stuff and getting in and out would be an issue.” I get pressured into doing it anyways. I wasn’t going to argue with her. She then asks me would I be more comfortable with her help me get in and out or him. I chose him because he’s already seen me naked and whatever. (Didn’t mention that part though.) But I did say “But I don’t want to overstep boundaries or rules.” When I made my choice. (Because of the whole ‘Maybe you shouldn’t be doing whatever you’re doing’ conversation.) She said whatever I’m comfortable with, she’s comfortable with. But I’m afraid that because I chose him, she’s going to come to the conclusion we’ve already had sex. Which is true, but we don’t want her to know that. So anyway, in some ways she seems uptight or strict, but in others very hospitable. (Always making sure I’m comfortable, offering food, drink, etc..) I didn’t get offended by it because I considered that maybe both are her way of showing I’ve been accepted into the family, (He says they like me very much and think I’m very sweet) but I want to know what others think. I’m scared of her partially because of how this all came off, her overall vibe, and partially because she’s much like my own mother.