I cant do this anymore. 💔😭

Idk why im writing this. Maybe in hopes that i'll vent it all out and i'll feel better. But I won't. I never do. I try and try and try and try to make my life better. My child's life better. And it seems like all around me every move i make theres a big brick wall around that opportunity that i cant get through. And if i do, it ends in failure. I'm the problem. I always have been, and i cant seem to ever do one damn thing right. I'm over it. I'm over letting myself down. I'm for sure over letting my son down. He deserves better than a mother that constantly fails him and doesn't have her shit together like she should. I tried so hard and so long to fight, but maybe I'm right.

Maybe I wasn't meant to live to see my next birthday.