My 5 year old daughter scratched her face so much it made her bleed! And it seems she did it because I don’t understand her!

So basically I’ve always known my daughter was very different from my son in many ways but assumed as a parent all children are different. However she started school 5 months ago and within a month of her starting her teacher had concerns about “her lack of concentration” and “inability to wait her turn” now she explained she feels these are things out of my daughters control. At home the only time she struggles with waiting her turn is if she feels other are doing it “wrong” she is a very intelligent girl even her teacher agrees she is advanced. Now there are more concerning things she does at home that when I was approached by the health professional she explained they may be signs of ADHD or autism, now for a while when she has got frustrated she would dig her fingers in her face just under her eyes. I would obviously say she shouldn’t do this and tried to not make a fuss. But over the weekend I had put her in time out for hitting her brother and when her time was up I went get her and she had scratched all of her face causing it to make and bleed!! Although inside I was anything but calm I just calmly asked her what happened and she said she did it because she was quiet and I didn’t come and get her. The next day I called the health professional and before I furnished saying what happened she said my daughter was trying to tell me something. And maybe it was that she didn’t feel I understood her so she did this as a physical way of letting her frustration out to show me how she felt! Now here is my question has anyone experienced this before as it totally broke my heart because honestly there are a few times I feel I do not understand her! She is a child that takes everything literal as in if she is allowed to do something at school and I say she isn’t at home she doesn’t understand and vice versa, in her mind is very black and white either you are allowed or your not! Obviously this is not how things are and which my son understands these my daughter will completely melt down as much as I try to explain she still doesn’t understand and I have to just distract her. I kind of feel alone at the moment and it would be nice to know if others are or have dealt with this and how to improve things, thank you