How do you do two under two?

I have an 18 month old daughter and we just had our son; he will be 3 weeks old on Friday. I am already at the end of my rope.

He is attached to my boobs but refuses pacifiers. Every time he is awake he is crying, and I’ll put him on the breast to calm him because that seems to be the only way to make him stop and then he will cry when milk comes out because he’s actually not hungry, just looking to comfort on the nipple.

He’s gained a ton of weight and diapers are good so I know he’s getting enough. I take care of all his other needs yet he’s constantly crying and fussing and he’s on an up all night sleep during the day schedule that we can’t seem to break so I’m getting zero sleep.

He cries when anyone else holds him, including my husband, to the point where he makes himself sick so I never get a break and my husband doesn’t feel bonded with him at all or even like him.

I’ve tried babywearing and he just fussed and roots the whole time he’s being worn.

My daughter has regressed badly and now refuses naps, wants to be carried, cries all the time and refuses to listen.

I literally can’t even cut up food for her or go to the bathroom myself because one of them will be losing it.

I feel like a shit mom because neither of them are getting the love or attention they need and I’m just constantly crying because I’m overwhelmed.

How does anyone else do this? I thought we were having 3 kids but I’m completely done at two.