Long read with graphic photo down below!

My pregnancy was kind of a hard one to be honest. I was so uncomfortable because I got so big so fast. I started off 109 pounds and ended at almost 170! My official due date was November 18, 2018 but when people would ask me when I was due I would always say “hopefully October because baby is so big!” Next time I’ll just keep my mouth shut!

I was 33+6 when I started feeling really really uncomfortable. It was a Friday afternoon. My stomach was getting hard and I just felt sick. Everyone told me they were Braxton Hicks contractions and not to worry but I just didn’t feel right. Lucky we live right down the street from the hospital so we went to triage that afternoon. It was like a 4 hour wait so we went home and waited for them to call to let us know they have a bed ready and then we rushed back over. I was hooked up to a heart rate and contraction monitor and laid there for a bit. A nurse came in and saw the screen, she didn’t say anything was horribly wrong but when I was laying on my back whenever I would feel my belly getting tight you could see baby’s heart rate was all over the place. So they made me stay for a few hours to monitor. We got an ultrasound and basically the nurse told me the cord is probably somewhere it shouldn’t be, most likely underneath his head so when I contract he pushes down on it. So when we left they told me to put my feet up when I can, when I’m in the car, lean back and not a lot of walking. Just keep the pressure off the cord. We left, I was still worried, but if they saw something wrong they would have definitely done something about it, right?

Sunday was Thanksgiving dinner, I ate all the food while still feeling like crap. When we got home I still wasn’t feeling any better. I didn’t want to feed like an idiot to go back to the hospital when I was just there not even two days before. We went to bed Sunday night like normal. I woke up on Monday at around 4am, like I always did because sleeping sucked while I was pregnant. Everyone’s always like “catch up on sleep now so you’re rested for when baby comes!” Yeah right, how can I sleep with a beach ball on the front of my body! So when I woke up that morning I realized I hadn’t felt him kick in a little while, usually he’ll wake me up with a kick in the early morning. I went to the kitchen to drink some milk, I went and laid down waiting for his kicks. I felt a few tiny ones but nothing like he usually is so worried me starts to think something is wrong. When my fiancé got up I told him I hadn’t felt him move a lot and that made him nervous so we broke out the fetal doppler. Baby’s heart rate seemed normal so I calmed down a little. By noon I just couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off. I kept telling my husband that I didn’t want to go back in because I was just there and nothing was wrong, but by the one millionth time complaining about it he told me to put my jacket on and it won’t hurt to go stop in. It’s always better safe than sorry. We got to triage at around 1:30 in the afternoon. I was 34+1 now. It was Thanksgiving day that day so there was absolutely no one. We got in right away which was great. I told them I was just there on the Friday and that I just wasn’t feeling right and just wanted peace of mind. I was hooked back up to all the same machines I was on Friday and laid there for a while. The nurse came in and saw I was having mild contractions but nothing to worry about. The heart rate was still a little weird though. She told me she didn’t think anything was wrong but a resident nurse is going to come look at the charts to let me know everything is okay. An hour so so went by and my nurse came and told me she got one of the doctors to come up and take a look instead of the resident. So she came up with an ultrasound machine to take a look. She didn’t see a cord down under the head like the doctor on Friday saw but she saw a lot of amniotic fluid and not a lot of movement. She asked me how good my insurance was because I was most likely going to spend the next 6 weeks in the hospital so they could monitor for fetal distress. At that point I started to really worry. We hadn’t done any of the baby’s laundry, I didn’t have anything with me. I didn’t have a hospital bag or anything. I just came in for a check up! I asked if I could go home and pack a bag first and she laughed and told me no. I was making a list of things for my fiancé to do when he got home and things he can bring me when the doctor came in and told us he’s not going anywhere and we’re going to have baby today. I freaked. I was terrified. By this point I was texting my brother, sister and dad in panic mode that I was having him that day. So at around 5:00pm they came and gave me an IV and about 20 minutes after that I was wheeled in for an emergency c-section. Still terrified and in shock that this was actually happening. I’ve never been so scared in my entire life, I had no time to prepare. I got wheeled into the bright white room to get the spinal block, which was supposed to take 10 minutes but because apparently I have mild scoliosis it look more like half an hour. I was sweating and crying and shaking I was so scared. My fiancé wasn’t allowed in when getting the spinal block so a nurse stood in front of my while I was hunched over hugging me and trying her best to comfort me. Once the spinal block finally got put in the right place my legs instantly went numb, it was such a crazy feeling. I got my legs lifted up onto the table and they all prepared me for the c-section. My fiancé came in and saw me laying on the table and we both just burst into tears because we couldn’t believe what was going on. They started the c-section, which actually wasn’t bad at all. It was quick and I didn’t feel a thing. At 6:19pm, on October 8th, 2018, 6 weeks early my perfect boy was born at 7lbs 10oz and 19inches long. People will tell you, you don’t know love until you see your baby for the first time but love is to small of a word. The feeling is indescribable.

They were all baffled as to why he was so big, but even now they don’t know. He spent 13 days in the NICU. He only needed help breathing for a few hours, he was perfectly healthy. He’s 3 months today, at just about 15lbs and 25inches! My boy is growing perfectly! We are so happy he came when he did, he was done cooking and definitely let me know! Always trust your mama instincts when things don’t feel right! I’m not sure what would’ve happened if I didn’t go in when I did, just because I felt stupid for going back to the hospital two days later.

Cian Michael Miller, we love you so so much, you are our whole world!