Vbac/Hbac with gestational diabetes ❤️

January 7th morning I was having prodromal labor. I messaged my birthing team just in case, it did feel real for several hours then fizzled off. Thus chiropractic care I went! Made it home and rest of the day I had a few good contractions but just sporadic.

9pm everyone was asleep, I wasn’t tired I had an hour nap but decided to take my homeopathic

sleep aid and try to get some sleep anyway.

9:40 my water broke as I was almost asleep...holy hell did it hurt 🤷‍♀️ I didn’t expect it I thought it was a swift punch to the cervix and went to go back to sleep then gush! Ran to toilet, wasn’t 100% convinced no contractions so I did the trick i learned towel under myself and back to sleep. Laid down and within 1 minute another massive gush. I knew for sure at this point. Got the shakes from excitement and being cold. Midwife called and I didn’t want to wake josh at this point so I left to head to the other bathroom, texted my birthing team no contractions yet no need to rush over, hit send then boom they start, I would say medium or so intensity so I started the bathtub water expecting them to be pretty far apart. Nope. They where 30 seconds long and every 3-4 minutes. After a few I knew it was now I needed to get up and wake josh tell people to come..woke up josh and gave him some time to himself to actually wake up. Came to living room and told team to just head over this was 10:30pm now. Vickie mother in law showed up first at this point I wasn’t looking at my phone accept to time them like asked tried to tell myself to rock through them but really just said ouch ouch and told myself to relax and open I was pretty successful at this time, some where very strong. Midwife called 10:41 at this point I was still texting like I was fine (what she says) once she hurt me during a contraction she said she was coming (hour drive) she told me to continue timing them...they where at this point 1 minute long and every two minutes. I was pretty loud at this point when I felt one coming I would say please no...I had already asked them to set up the pool looking for relief from pain

, hot water ran out at some point, people where taking turns applying pressure to my back, I moved to the pool although it wasn’t deep moaning getting louder, I didn’t understand how my little girl was sleeping through me yelling on the other side of the wall but was grateful she was. Stepped into the pool without testing it, holy hot-having a contraction-feet on Fire-couldn’t move, made it out and got cold water pumping in, no idea what time it was maybe 1130 ish, held on to my sister during my contractions, i had heard this position was good for pain...honestly nothing helped no position i was screaming for my mom, i was begging no. got in when water was tolerable but honestly it was still hot i didn’t care I was hoping the heat would help, back on my hands and knees holding whoever’s hand was in front of me people taking turns. Telling people I couldn’t do it i didn’t want to crying begging for my mom or my husband (really just something i was saying they where there rubbing my back giving encouraging words...they did so good I was very amazed with how well they did!)

midwife arrived around 1140 or so I don’t know I didn’t have my eyes open hardly the whole birth I screamed to her it hurt so bad. Emma still sleeping peacefully in the back, at this point I could have sworn the neighbors could hear me. Was checked for the first time an 8, I was relieved and broken at the same time, contractions hurting so bad I was almost puking a minute apart and 🤷‍♀️ how long. Was asked to change positions I was exhausted I felt close to passing out during breaks and allowed my body to basically limp when I could once going to far and dropping my chin in the water 🤢. I told Carrisa I couldn’t do it everyone continue to tell me I could (I would have never transferred but for whatever reason screaming mom and saying I couldn’t was my two go-to words. I flipped to my side hoping for some relief, nothing helped but it didn’t make it worse, I was told i could do some general pushing if I felt like it. Yes please get it out of me, I would push but at the very intense part pull back and gag I knew it was causing slower progress, I begged how to just let go. I continued for I have no idea how long felt like hours, felt like i couldn’t do it, the pain was so bad, i was so so tired I couldn’t at this point keep my eyes open maybe glancing every 20 minutes for a peak around. I managed to somewhat get past it, feeling more and more pressure 😶 something you could never explain to someone they have to live it. Finally I could see the end, close enough to reach down and feel my progress, pushing for still seemed like forever. Geese is it ever going to come out please get get it out making me mad and helping me push harder. Head cams out underwater cord wrapped once (normal!) pushed several more times with no progression. Shit come on man just come already! At this point I was so exhausted I wasn’t even screaming anymore was using my mom and tugging my body up with every contraction and two people had my legs, Carrisa asked me to change positions, this worried me some, not much I was close head was out but in almost every video i saw head comes out and body easily follows next push (I was 10 or so in maybe less 🤷‍♀️) I stood up as she asked and put my foot on the pool as instructed...all my pushing on it had deflated it and water went everywhere 😂 shit so now i have people holding me in half cheerleading position as i pushed some more. Carrisas voice got stern which scared me more “Erin you HAVE to push with this next one push with all you got in you” my fear for safety took over more and I didn’t care at this point I pushed as hard as I possibly could almost collapsing after. Out she came, I immediately checked gender 😬 team pink! Quickly after my felt my body almost collapsing underneath my feet so we sat,

I couldn’t lean on the pool it was to deflated, I couldn’t get comfortable, I was the most exhausted I had ever been really to scared to hold my girl I just wanted to lay down but at the same time couldn’t move

(not like blood loss pass out, very minimal loss all around ☺️). I asked midwife what was wrong why she wouldn’t come and although i knew we where both fine if something went wrong, was told no that was her firm voice 😂😂 she just knew I needed to hear it and everything went perfectly no risk or concern during whole process. Took another 1:30-2 hours to birth placenta,

i was scared, hurting, exhausted, wanted to pass out and nap but as a nurse knew I couldn’t possibly convince anyone to let me sleep with still semi critical time. Finally passed placenta

and took a shower cane out cut the cord which had just stopped pulsating! Watched my love cut the cord and tie her cord tie,

fed for second or third time, did weight and what not 4 am at this point I’m exhausted but also feel like I could stay up for hours. Finally made it to bed around 4:30 or so...oh the comfort of sleeping on my belly again 😂😍

Most common question was “was it worth it” I’m getting to that point slowly, it’s still so fresh on my mind at this point I wish I had had some nuban to help with pain everyone says give it a week or so and I will come to terms. Hardest thing I will ever do in life, I do not regret one thing but at the same time I’m not fully on board with doing it again just yet...day two and I’m feeling much better about it!

💪

Vitamin c baby

Vitamin k, eye ointment, vaccine free 🤗 #RNAGAINSTVACCINES