I was so excited, I told everyone about you. I wasn’t too far along but I couldn’t wait to see what you looked like, and I couldn’t wait to see the person you’d become. I couldn’t wait to teach you things, I couldn’t wait to watch you grow. I couldn’t wait to just be, not only your mother, but your Bestfriend.

November 18th became the worst and hardest day of my life.

I lost you. I wanted to cry but I held it in. I told your dad with the straightest of faces but I was so hurt and wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Your grandma cried with me that day. I kept myself together as much as I could but as soon as I had time alone I cried. I cried in the car to and from work, I cried in the shower. I’d be in the bathroom, close the door and cry. Your dad would be only a few feet away not knowing.

I felt like I lost a piece of my world. I kept asking myself, “what could I have done differently?”. I wanted to ask “why me?” ... but I know things happen for a reason.

It’s been a while now, I miss you so much. I have come to the realization that there is nothing I could’ve done differently to have you here with me. I’ve realized that i can’t ask why, I just have to keep pushin’.

You were carried for only a moment but are loved for a lifetime.

Mommy & daddy love you forever. Our little angle baby 💕