I have been so hateful here lately. Ive been seeing post of people being pregnant or having a baby and I cannot help but be angry. Not at them of course, but at myself. What is wrong with me? Yesterday i took a test cause i was a day late on my period (it is pretty dead on) and it came back negative. We were at my husband's brothers house enjoying family and I had to walk outside and just break down and cry. We have been trying for MONTHS (almost a year), and still nothing. I've been tucking away the pain deep inside of me and i guess I couldn't handle it anymore.

Im not one to cry or show emotion but it just flooded out of me. Today. Today i took another one in hopes of maybe having a different result. No. Still negative and I'm two days late. And this was the first pregnancy test that I actually sat down and started at til the results showed. My husband would always be the one to look for me because I couldn't handle the disappointment from it.

I'm tired. So tired of seeing the one line. When will it be my turn? My husband already has one child from a previous marriage and i love that little boy to death. But i just wish i had one of my own.