hurt and confused 😓


I'm 38 weeks today, my SO went out last night to his bosses house I new he was going to be drinking a little but he promised he would be home not too late and being my nieve self just wanting to trust him I 'let' him go.

(not really let as in I had control, but i wanted him to go habe a good time) and i just was hoping for the best..

one of his friends/workers almost always has coke and my SO is an addict but i wanted to trust him.. well i haven't heard from him since 12:30 when he texted me he was on his way but he wouldn't answer my phone calls so I knew it was a lie.. now its 6 AM and it's been radio silence..

I know with our baby coming so soon I cant keep sitting around waiting for him to change but I'm so broken now.. I didnt see myself being a possible single mother.. i had to quit my job about a month ago and I dont know what I'm going to do financially atm either. when I was working I brought 400-500 a week while he brings close to 900-1000 weekly but I'm guessing now hes spent all that..

I just dont know what to do right now I'm so lost and so close to my due date.

sorry I just needed to rant somewhere.. things were going so great and now everything's just crashing down again..