Just need to vent.

A little less than 2 months ago I had a miscarriage. I was only 5 weeks along but had a really hard time. I got better there for a little bit but recently it seems I’m going back downhill. Idk exactly why but I find myself crying quite often now. I’m just having a hard time understanding why this had to happen. I’m constantly thing of the “what if’s”. Today I would have been 14 weeks with my little peanut. I think of how the timing was perfect. I’m a teacher and I was due July 16th. That meant I wouldn’t end up having to take time off and i am standing up in a wedding Aug 5th so seriously everything would have been perfect! These are the things that go through my head ALL day.....

Every time I hang out with my mom she is always trying to have the conversations about how long we’re gonna wait to try again, or makes small comments on what our next child will be like. Idk if I’m just being over sensitive but it just really irritates me. I’ve never been one to really talk about my feelings and it’s a sensitive subject for me. Yesterday she tried to have another one of those conversations and I kept trying to ask her to stop talking about it. She asked if I talk to anyone about it at all.

I don’t really have a question....just needed someone to listen.