Managing overbearing in-laws?

Question

My MIL is ALWAYS over at the house. She holds baby girl and tries to keep her awake while she’s visiting so she will “sleep better at night”. Shes telling me not to wake her for feedings “she’ll always wake when she’s hungry”, telling me I’m wrong when I see feeding cues, telling me we should put baby oil on her face to treat her baby acne,... She’s giving advice and recommendations that fly right in the face of what our dr is telling us. And my husband is not stepping up and telling her NO! 
How do I handle this while not being a total bitch???. Because I’m furious and I can’t deal with this every damn day.

Answer

Honestly, lie if you have to.
The baby oil made her break out, we’re going to take a break.
I kept her up like you said, and she was fussy and unsettled all night. I want to try another way.
Doctor said she is losing weight, and I need to wake her every X hours. 
Whatever you need to do.
I would also tell your husband (as I have told mine), I CAN say things to her but it will be rude and she WILL be offended. Would you rather that or speak to her yourself?

Answer

Ugh my mil was like this as well. She would be over almost everyday and would even ask to come over, she would just show up. And walk right in like it’s her house. I addressed it to my husband and he told his parents to call and ask before Coming over. There was a couple times we was about to leave, for my sons doctors appointment and they would get upset. Like if they called it wouldn’t have been an issue. My mil was holding him and my husband asked for him back so we can give him a bath and she said no. So unfortunately I had to step in-not in a nice way and asked for my son so we can give him a bath. But because we stepped up and made it clear she no longer comes over without asking. Just have to talk and make things clear on what’s okay and what’s not okay.

Answer

Talk to your husband to talk to her. If he doesn’t listen I would personally tell her a dr is recommending this so me and your son decided to go with the medical professionals advice on this. My mom doesn’t live far from me literally 8 blocks away i would make sure to leave my house when my MIL came over or always about to leave and tell her should give us a call before you visit. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Answer

Definitely set boundaries like pp said. My mom was super overbearing with my first and it drove me nuts until I had enough and set some boundaries and now with my second she’s not nearly as bad as she was before.  If you don’t say anything it will continue on and you’re going to get more and more frustrated with her. 
Good luck! I hope she stops soon. 🤞

Answer

JUST BE A BITCH! It’s not a bad thing. If they’re overstepping you over step too. That’s what we had to do with my MIL & first baby, now with the second she doesn’t even talk about our parenting.

Answer

I fear my MIL is going to be like this!!

Answer

My MIL was this way. I had her first grandchild, which was my 4th baby..... I had to be a bitch to get her to stop.

Answer

I would tell your husband you need some space. Tell your MIL that you are feeling overwhelmed with the advise from so many people and you hope she can respect you as a mother to let you figure it out. That’s a polite way of saying fk off. Ultimately though the hardest and most stressful thing is getting your SO on the same page and to agree so when you do that life will be much easier. Goodluck momma x

Answer

You have to set boundaries now. It’s going to be hard, but at least you can blame being Bitchy on little sleep and a newborn. 
Decide with your husband on enforceable boundaries and if he’s not willing to say it, you’re going to have to. Next time she is over try to kindly explain that you respect her opinion and think she did a great job raising her kids, but things have changed and you want to do things your way, which is following your drs medical advice. 
You can tell her you know there are many ways to do things, and her ways might be ok, but that’s not what you, your husband and your dr have decided to try for now. 
You have to let her know you love and respect her but you’re doing things your way with your baby. If she doesn’t get that now, there’s going to be a lot of resentment on both of your parts later on.

Answer

Oh Gawd can I relate!!!! I have NO advice just letting you know I feel your pain!

Managing overbearing in-laws?

Let's Glow!

The Top Baby Tracker App: Embrace New Beginnings with Tender Care

The Top Fertility Tracker App: Your Path to Achieving Pregnancy

The Top Pregnancy App: Nurturing Your Journey to Motherhood

The Top Period Tracker for Empowering Your Menstrual Health Journey