How would you ladies feel?😕 what would you do?

Question

So me and my bf have been together for 8 months, we’re 20&21 not that it matters to me but he’s also Arabic(Muslim) and I’m bi racial(black and white) 
He never brought me home to his parents because he was scared of judgment on what they may think of me(so I thought because I was not Muslim yet*im thinking about converting for 2 years but I’m not 100% sure yet*)
I bought him home during our 5/6 month we were both new to dating so we don’t know how it goes we just went with our flow of things 
Anyways this morning his mom asked him about me she’s been hunting the whole time about it but never out and out asked so he told her that we were together and that I was thinking of converting. Then she asked my race... she kind of looked disappointed so he thought because I wasn’t Muslim but then told him that he can’t tell his sister he’s dating a a black girl because under no circumstances does she want her getting with a black man and that all her friends are already black so to not tell her about me.
Now his entire tone and everything has changed towards me he sounds so depressed and like he doesnt want to talk to me and I didn’t do anything wrong😕 he had the nerve to say to me that he understands that my complexion is on the lighter side but what if our future children take on my father’s genes(he’s dark skin) and I literally want to choke him through the FaceTime call and he sees nothing wrong with it at all for him to say he doesn’t want our kid to look different than the rest of my family and it hurt me so bad then he told me he needed time to get out of this bad mood and he would call me later but I can’t help feel so lost and unloved
What should I do?
What would you do if you were in that situation?

Answer

I mean, his parents have imposed this mindset on him all his life. I’d give him some time. You’re who you are and there’s nothing you can do to change that. If he can’t accept that then there’s no need to even consider what your future children may look like. I say you two need to focus on the issue at hand, wether or not he and his family will accept you for who you are. A little bit of advice I once read on here “remember it’s always the two of you versus the problem not you two versus each other”. Hope this helps, sorry you’re in this situation hun.

Answer

You should just meet his parents and get it over with. If anything just try and make a good impression with them. If they don’t like you then oh well. Don’t let his parents get in between your relationship. Parents who want to control their kids dating life are the worst.
I would get offended too if my bf said he didn’t want dark skinned kids... I’m black and my family is all sorts of different colors. So there’s nothing that could be done when it comes to having black genes because black people can have different colors.
Also don’t change your religion just because you’re in a relationship with someone from a different religion, unless you’re 10000000% committed to it.

Answer

Okay so let me say I’m white and my husband is Arab,  when we started dating I learned a lot about Islam, eventually I wanted to convert (I was always searching for something but never found religion until then). There were a lot of issues with me being American, they had a lot of negative views and stereotypes but eventually they came around. First thing is there’s a lot you may not know/understand and he may not have told you, in Islam he isn’t supposed to be dating unless he plans on marrying, he should be courting and his family should be involved (my husband and I didn’t do this we were on the hush hush which caused a lot of issues with his family once they found out). If he’s dating you in the traditional sense it’s technically Haaram because you guys are probably alone together so my point is his family might not know you guys are alone OR they know and he’s getting in trouble with them. The second thing is with the racism, unfortunately in my experience it seems like a lot of Arab families have backward aspects of their cultures that have a lot of heavily ingrained racism that people confuse and say it’s part of Islam and if he is part of a family with racist values chances are he doesn’t and won’t realise it’s wrong and hurtful. Personally I would try to talk to him in person and figure out where you guys stand or what he wants for the future of your relationship, I don’t know how old you are but I met my husband when I was 18 and we got married when i was 18 and he was 19, we have a great relationship and a daughter together and have been married for years now. Honestly really think about if you want to convert because you really want to or if you’re feeling pressure to fit in with him and his family or to please them. It’s a really tough situation you’re In and I’ve been there but it all depends on your goal if you want to get married to him because if they’re Muslim chances are you aren’t going to be able to date the dude unless you’re planning to marry him.

How would you ladies feel?😕 what would you do?

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