How do you go back to trying?.... Again

Miscarriage at 10 weeks in December 2017.

“Chemical” at 4.5 weeks in July 2018.

Miscarriage at 12 weeks January 2019.

At this point I don’t know if I want to keep trying. We have a little boy who is 4 and a half today. How can I keep “trying” and feeling like I am going to fall apart when I could just stop and enjoy life with him?