How would you feel?

Hey so I don’t want to be petty and I want to be open minded about this but how would you guys handle it?

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and 4 months and we’ve been living with each other for about 4 months now actually and we are so great.. but we went out to eat on Sunday and we had a deep conversations about past relationships and we learned more about our heartbreak.. and when he was telling me about his YOU KNOW HOW WE GIRLS ARE WE GET SO EMOTIONAL AND TAKE EVERYTHING PERSONAL (AT LEAST I DID) but he was saying stuff like “that heartbreak is what fuels me into succeeding” and “it hit me hard because I was going to marry her”, “keep in mind she cheated on him, got back together and broke up again. they were together for 1 year 6 months.. he felt super suicidal because he really loved her and I feel jealous lmao I hate myself. I mean with my ex I was extremely devoted to him but i don think about him anymore. I told him that but then he got mad because I got mad at him for saying that he was going to marry her and I’m jealous that she had so much control over him. He loved her so much. I know his ex. Very pretty girl. He even gave her a promise ring and he never gave me one.. i don’t expect it anymore because we are basically like a married couple and have our own apartment together but idk I feel insecure idk