My husband and I have been married for 3 years. Together nearly 8. We have SO many problems going on. I’m just going to number them so they’re easier to read and understand.

1. We have a 9 month old. I had PPD and am still suffering with some intrusive thoughts and OCD. I’ve done everything except medicine. My mood is looking up (somewhat) so I’m really hoping I can get by without drugs. I was on antidepressants once for migraines and I lost control of myself.

2. Since having our daughter, our whole dynamic has changed (obviously- as it does for everyone). I stayed at home for 5 months and then went to work as a Teacher and my husband does HVAC (his own company) in the evenings. We never see each other. We do have plans to put our baby in daycare before I begin a new year of teaching in August. That way we can see each other in the evenings.

3. My job is chaos and I seriously feel like I’m going to die of a stroke most days that I’m there. I have anxiety and panic attacks. I work with children with very sad lives, so they’re hard to deal with. I love them, but they suck all of the joy right out of me. I’m disrespected and walked all over by coworkers. I HATE it. I’ve expressed my intentions on leaving once my contract is up.

4. My husband does not help out around the house while he is home during the day. I work in chaos and come home to chaos. I run our house AND I work 50 hours a week. He works about 15 hours a week. He is a total slob. Doesn’t pick up after himself, leaves trash in his brand new truck, doesn’t take care of small repairs. I pretty much run cirlces around him to get everything done & he says that I don’t care about my family because I clean all the time. 🤯

5. We can’t keep our heads above water when it comes to finances. I worked my ass off for 6 years to earn $40000 a year and it is NOT enough to get by. To make it worse, husband has wrecked 2 vehicles, gotten 2 speeding tickets, gotten 1 reckless driving ticket (for running from the cops!) and has spent $60000 on a work truck, tires, and repairs.

6. My father has cancer and could very well have less than a year to live. I’ve never lost anyone and my dad is my favorite person in the whole world. THIS has been enough to make me question life, myself, EVERYTHING! How do I live without my dad? My husband is very supportive and positive when it comes to this situation. He has gone to apts and has offered to be a living donor for my dad if he happens to become eligible for a transplant.

Am I being a baby? Is this a lot to handle or is this normal, every day stress? I have had a very easy life thus far, a wonderful family, plenty of money, respect from others, a bright future. This is by far the weakest I have ever felt. This day to day stress has been going on for about a year now. Some days I don’t know if I can make it. I feel scared of each and every day because I anticipate the worst. I’m a nightmare to be around and my husband says my stress makes him miserable and he’s very unhappy. I have to beg him for sex and most days he says he’s too tired to shower (please!) but he looks at porn every day. I finally broke down and told him that I don’t want to be his problem anymore. It isn’t ideal for our baby, but our life together is so hard. Has anyone ever been really down and gotten thru it all with their SO? I really just need to hear that things can get better. It feels like we will never be able to get out of this seemingly endless cycle. What should I do? What can I do? I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to get by.