I've always wanted children it's the only thing I want in life. I already have the perfect partner and I would love nothing more but to have his child and yet I can't.. I can't have children I can't have the perfect family I've always dreamed of.

Watching everyone around me having children and starting there family is the hardest thing in the world. Literally all my friends and siblings( patners siblings too) have had children some on there 2nd and 3rd pregnancies.

Every time some one tells me they/someone is pregnant I die inside and just want to cry knowing I will never be able to announce my pregnancy.

And so.. I'm now trying to convince myself I don't want children though it's the only thing I want