My cousins baby passed away 6 months ago. The day of his funeral we told my cousin and his gf not to tell our kids about it because when we got home we would explain it to them. Then went against our word and told them anyway.

They told my oldest and middle, because my youngest is only 2 and she didn’t care/is not aware.

Anyway, my oldest is 5 and middle is 4.

My middle child has a disability (we’re still in the process of getting her tested on what, like autism, ADHD, ect) and she likes to repeat things over and over (ect, like a song or if you tell her something, but that’s for another day)

Soo when he told her about the baby passing it’s all she repeated for a straight month. (I’m not even kidding)

And with my oldest loving kids, obviously she couldn’t wait till he had his till he sadly passed but he explained his death in such a way that it has traumatized her.

It pissed me and my husband off because we told him not to say anything to them about it because we had already had a good explanation set up for when we got home BUT he still went against our word.

When I surprised my oldest to go with us to a (paid) ultrasound she was upset. Which is not her because she always used to tell me she wanted another bother or sister, and that she wanted mommy to have a baby. At the time I didn’t think anything of it because she kept saying she wanted to “Cut” the baby out (I told her about how I had c-sections for them) now so she can be with it.

THEN after we found out it was a boy (which was a few weeks later) she kept saying she wanted him here with us and not anywhere else, and she would say “We need to cut him out now.”

Again I didnt think anything of it because I thought maybe she couldn’t wait for him and she was excited.

This past week, almost everyday she has said something that really breaks my heart.

The first time she said it my husband and I had to go take my youngest to an appointment, my middle wanted to stay with my mom and sleep so she (my oldest) came with us.

While we were in the car she told us

“Mommy.. I don’t want to Bury him in the ground.”

And my husband said “Who?”

She said “Well.. baby brother. I don’t want to bury him with baby XXX”

And I said “We’re not going to bury him, my love.”

And she said “Well XXX said that baby boys get buried. And that he’s dead. He’s buried in the ground and I don’t want to put baby brother there too, so can we go to the doctors appointment and cut him out?”

My husband and I literally looked at each other because we couldn’t believe she said that.

We both didn’t know what to say because she came left Field on us about it. So we just said that we weren’t going to bury baby brother and that he had to stay in mommy’s tummy a little longer and that she had to be patient.

We told my mom about it and she tried explaining it to her but all she kept saying was “But XXX told me..” as in my cousin told her something different and since what he said to her traumatized her that’s what she believes. All this week she has kept talking about not wanting to put him in the ground.

I just don’t know what to do. It makes me soo mad because we both told my cousin that we would explain it to her but he damn did what he wanted anyway.

My oldest is not dumb either, she’s soo smart that when you tell her something she remembers or keeps it in consideration. Every time we tell her something different she mentions what he said to her first. And if you ask her what he said, she tells you word for word.

But it also upsets me because she thinks her baby brother is going to die too. She loves him so much already, she gives my tummy hugs and kisses to him and always ask after I take a nap if baby brother slept well.

Ugh.. I just don’t know what to do. 🤦🏼‍♀️

My husband keeps saying he hopes she’ll just forget about it but at the same time if you promise her something she doesn’t forget. I just don’t know.😩

Saying “bye” to my 2 year old or sneak out