I just really want to be a mother. I feel like I was born to do this. I don’t know what’s wrong with my body or with me... I feel like such a failure, or a mistake.. I’m not sure which is more accurate. You would think that as a woman my body would be able to do this. I have no idea what I’ve done for my body to betray me. I love children. I have a beautiful, (step) Son who means everything to me and really holds my heart.. but I wish more than anything that I could experience pregnancy and bring a life into this world. It is so heartbreaking trying every month just to realize it’s not “your month.” I try my best to avoid anything that can cause me any pain, but it’s literally everywhere. Every single movie I watch or television show I get into there’s a woman finding out she’s pregnant.. and I can’t help but think why isn’t that me? Not to mention every social media platform is filled with pregnancy announcements, adorable soon to be parents smiling ear to ear, and those pictures with the baby bumps. I am truly happy for every person who has been blessed enough to experience this journey, but it kills me that I have yet to experience that bliss. I know my fiancé is tired of hearing me go on and on about how worthless I feel, or seeing me completely destroyed by yet another negative test, or having to console me when I’m having yet another break down. It’s so hard going through this so much to the point where you feel like you’re crazy. I feel so empty, like a piece of me is missing and it really hurts to know that empty spot may never be filled... 😭