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He can be involved with the child without being in the delivery room. Birth is a big deal and if you know his presence will cause stress then it’s not healthy for you and baby. He can wait until after. He made the choice to leave you so he needs to understand your needs.
Should Ex be allowed to attend birth?
I am 11 weeks from giving birth.
My husband left me weeks ago, out of the blue.
My emotions are all over the place and I honestly can't be in same room as him or even talk to him without falling apart.
He still wants to attend all my appointments and I have said I don't want him at any because he has chosen not to be with me so he can't attend. I do update him if it has anything to do with the baby.
My plan is to have my sister support me through the birth and I will let him know when the baby is born.
I don't want to hurt him, I just can't deal with him and give birth.
UPDATE - Thank you for your advice and support. TO BE CLEAR - I just dont feel comfortable having him there during the birth. I am more than happy for him to wait outside and come in when I am ready. I am honestly a mess and so scared he will take this as I don't want him being apart of our baby's life. I send him updates if I have a scan and all the photos. If he askes how the pregnancy is going I respond. I send him photos of the things I buy for the baby because he wants to see. I am doing the best I can. I really am trying to put the baby first but also trying to meet my needs at the same time. I am also trying to plan out some type of visitation so he can bond. I am not heartless but am very heartbroken.
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Ok I’m gonna be completely different than all of these other comments. What if he was the one who carried the child and didn’t want you to attend YOUR child’s appointments or YOUR child’s birth just because you chose not to be with him?? I honestly don’t think it’s fair what he did, but it’s definitely not fair for you to not include him in his kids life. He helped make that baby just as much as you did. And if he wants to be a daddy, let him. Your child deserves both their parents. Not a story when they are 16 about how you didn’t allow their father to participate because he didn’t wanna be your spouse. No matter how upset I was with my husband, I would never take that away from my child or him. He deserves to be a father and she deserves to have her father 🤷🏻♀️
Ka
Lmao, I said that saying it concerns my exes, which, are all abusive pieces of sh*t. So, no, I didn’t say specifically I wouldn’t put them on the certificate if they just left me. Which is why I mentioned that it would revolve around my exes specifically. So go ahead and think what you like, cause you just ASSUMED, and called me bitter. You are the perfect example of someone who is incredibly ignorant and full of themselves.
Me
Not one part of my FACTUAL statement has been selfish 😂 you literally made a comment to someone else that you wouldn’t even put the man on the birth certificate OF HIS OWN CHILD, just because he chose not to be with you. You my lady, are the perfect example of a bitter, baby mother
Ka
Lmao. And you’re not putting your own selfish opinion into it?? Ok. 👏🏻👌🏻
It’s his baby as well. Unless he’s physically hurt you, threatened you or baby in anyway, mentioned he didn’t want the baby.. I dont see why he wouldn’t be allowed to be there. It’s his baby, too. Don’t bring the baby in the middle of it.. just because of parents differences. It’s your delivery. Only can you make that choice!Good luck!!!
he made the choice to leave, you’re making the choice to not have him in the delivery room. that moment should be special and stress free, your well being and the baby’s. we don’t know the whole story or how he left you. so if you think that’s the right thing to do, then do it mama. do whatever is best for YOU and your baby. if the day comes and you change your mind, then that’s fine too.
Have something similar going on myself since 13 weeks I left my husband and now going through a divorce after he tossed me while pregnant (he was “having a bad day and accidentally took it out on me”) and I called police and filed domestic charges. Since than he has threatened me and so has his family and they have been nothing but negative energy he has not been welcome to any appointments, not allowed to attend baby shower, and will not be there when I’m in labor. It’s for my own comfort and piece of mind and I suggest the same for you. If you feel safer and more comfortable without him there than you should do that because at the end of the day this is supposed to be the best day of your life which is bringing another into this world. I am now 28 weeks and I have no regrets about any decisions keeping him away thus far.
La
I'm going through same and I understand her & your decision..We have to do what's best for self & baby
I think keeping open communication about the baby is awesome, but just like he wouldn’t have access to your medical information, he isn’t owed the right to be at the appointments or delivery. The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself these last few weeks and not put any more stress on yourself. I don’t think it’s wrong to not have him attend as long as you continue to update him and it’s not out of being petty, but for your and the baby’s wellbeing. I can’t even imagine how hard that is for you right now. Praying for you momma! 💗
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