I’m the weak girl...

It’s so easy to give advise and tell people to leave someone when they are not getting treated right but when it comes to yourself it’s a whole other story. I see all of the strong females that don’t put up with shit ( sorry for the language) and I want to be like that and even convince myself that I am. But honestly I am that weak girl that gets walked all over. I’m with an alcoholic who is not doing a damn thing to change. I tell him what seems like daily now I will not stay with him while he’s drinking and what do I do?! Stay with him. My son is 5 months old. I started working when he was three weeks old because my boyfriend doesn’t have a job. Hasn’t in over a year. Okay he did for 2 months out of a year and a half but hasn’t since. So I buy all of the food, baby items and everyday necessities. I’ve turned into a bitter bitter women. And he tells me how I’m negative everyday and it’s because I hate this situation I am in. He is doing nothing to provide for this family. I will say he does cook and try to do little things to make me satisfied and though I do appreciate it I feel like he should be doing more. And he’s not some young immature kid either, he’s a 38 year old grown man. I stay even when he says hurtful things to me. When he yells in front of our child. When he calls me an Idiot and stupid in from of his 9 year old. When will I learn. In my head I know we won’t work with him being like this. Told it is 12:05 right now and he drank the last of his alcohol last night (pint of vodka and a bottle of wine- last from about 1pm to 11pm) and he has to go to the store to get more vodka right now. ( he usually wakes up and makes a drink.) he has 20 dollars to his name right now and this man is on the way to the liquor store to buy some freaking vodka. 20 dollars to his name and this is what he’s using it on. I cannot wrap my head around this. He just expects me to get everything else. But he can spend his money on vodka. Everyday. He’s bought our son diapers three times I think. To you strong women out there can you PLEASE talk some sense into me?!?! I mean I’m the one who always ends up feeling bad because I’m mean to him all day long. Like I’m a bitch to him ALL DAY. so I feel bad. But Jesus i just want to be happy. Thank you if you read all of this...