I’m not a full believer in god, but I do believe in things happening for a reason and that there is a plan for everyone.

From about two years ago I started to really want a child. I was only newly into my relationship with my now husband and I didn’t want to start trying or even mentioning it straight away because our relationship needed time to flourish. Now we are here and desperately trying for a child, and nothing.....

I came off of the pill about 6 months ago and the only reason I ever went on it was because my periods were so bad to the point where I could not move. Since coming off the pill it’s all started again. I went back to my doctor who asked me to run over everything I experience with my period and the time leading up to it. He then took a deep breath and said “I know this will be hard to hear, but I think you have endometriosis”. My heart sank. I literally just stopped in my tracks and froze. I knew I had terrible periods and unimaginable pains, but I never thought it could be this.

I since then have spoken to my husband and we are trying to brace ourselves for either outcome, however still having to wait almost a month to have my appointment is killing me. I mean I feel as though I was born to be a mother, and yes I know there are other ways to have kids if worst comes to worst, but I felt like for a long time that this was my plan.

I’m just so lost and alone and I don’t know who to talk to and what to do. I’ve just been at home crying my eyes out and I just don’t want to tell my husband how bad this is effecting me because I don’t want him to worry any more.

I need a sign. I just want to be pregnant and for things to be okay.