I had my baby boy 11 days ago. I haven’t had any real anxiety since he was born even though i had severe prenatal anxiety. Its been a particularly hard night- i’ve been up since his midnight feeding and its 4:20 a.m. he’s been asleep the whole time between feedings and diapers but i cant sleep.

When i woke up to feed him at midnight i noticed his dad wasn’t in bed with me. He’s sleeping on the couch and i really don’t know why.

And of course the night he decides to leave me alone, my baby pees all over the bed (and me) then spits up all over both of us, and when i finally get it all clean and we’re snuggled up together his owlet sock alarm goes off to tell me his oxygen level dropped. I panicked and woke him back up (he had just fallen asleep on my chest) and i just cried. He is such a good baby but its been such a hard night. It feels so lonely.

I just don’t know what to do. I know i need to sleep but i’m scared about his oxygen level dipping and i don’t know why his dad isn’t in here with us, and i’m just about in tears.

I don’t know what i’m expecting in response, just needed to vent.