He won’t commit. Does he really not want me? 😞

Question

From him: “Babe i like you, a lot, but i dont know what the future holds but im not your boyfriend”. 
Also from him “I told u earlier the future is unwritten; I like and want u alot. But I dont know what I want and I HATE ultimatums, so if u will take me as is 😘 and if you cant well thats ur call. Does that make sense?” 
So l brought up the “what are we” subject and this is what I got from him. We’ve been dating 6 months. He says he isn’t dating anyone else but me, nor is he sleeping with anyone else. He treats me really well, is not stingy when it comes to taking me out and we see each other every week (we both have demanding jobs), plus, the sex is really good. we talk/ text every day and I’m really into him. So what is the problem with me? Do I leave him knowing where he stands? Or wait to see if he will commit to me later?

Answer

He’s stringing you along. If I were you I’d move on. Sorry love. But if he genuinely liked you and wanted you, he would hold onto you and never let go. Sounds like he just wants to keep his options open.

Answer

I love this old adage.  Why buy the cow if you’re getting the milk for free? 
I think that one should at least get paid if willing to have sex with no commitment. 
Find someone who would be willing to swim through sharks to bring you a lemonade. 
He’s out there!

Answer

Nothing is wrong with you! It seems like he doesn’t want a commitment and maybe sees himself sleeping with someone else in the case he’s in that situation in the future. If you’re willing to be with him without a commitment, then you should do your thing and explore other relationships too. If you want a commitment from him and he doesn’t want one, then it’s best to move on.

Answer

He won’t give you that label as his GF. Probably around people he’ll call his u gf so u don’t look dumb. Or Vice versa. I’ve experienced that before. He will tell me he loved me plus what he told u. It felt like a serious relationship I would go on trips and sleep at his house & then I completely forgot the whole LABEL. But one day when things from the past surfaced he was able to pull that card out and say we’ve never been gf&bf. But somehow I was his queen? It hurt...A LOT. It made me think why don’t u wanna make me your gf ? Am I not enough? I’ve done so much for him. When he’s obviously had gf’s in the past suddenly with me he can’t ? Made no sense. And we were like this for years. Until I put my foot down and said no. So why should you bend backwards for someone that isn’t taking you serious. Or taking you for granted, don’t let him think that he calls the shots cause your afraid of him leaving.

Answer

He wants a relationship without the commitment and that’s not fair to you. He’s definitely stringing you along. It’s not fair for him to not know what he wants and play with your feelings and string you along because it only ends up hurting you. 
If you’re gonna act like you’re in a relationship with someone, then just be with them, that’s technically what he’s doing anyway. 
Me personally, I would tell him “you either want to be with me, or you don’t. Don’t call me babe and act like you’re in a relationship with me and then turn around and say you’re not my boyfriend and that you don’t know what you want. That isn’t fair to me and only hurts me. Either figure out what you want and let me know, or let me down now and let me move on with my life.” 
But that’s just me 🤷🏼‍♀️

Answer

Sounds like he’s stringing you along 😕 anyone can say nice things buts it’s the actions that count

Answer

Why is he afraid of the label?

Answer

He’s either not that into you (but enjoys the perks of a gf like regular sex and someone to do things with) or he wants to keep his options open so he can see other people too without cheating. You’re not wrong for wanting a relationship just like he’s not wrong for not wanting one.  But if he’s not willing to give you what he wants then you either have to compromise and accept that or move on.  If I were you I’d move on; you deserve to be with someone who wants what you want.

Answer

If he wanted to commit, he would have already. I have a one month limit but after 3 months and he still doesn’t want a relationship ? I’d move on. He should know by now whether he wants to be with you, it doesn’t take THAT long to at least establish you want to be in a relationship with someone imo

Answer

Why do I feel so sad reading these comments...😞 I was hoping for different responses, like positive examples. But deep down, I feel you ladies may be right. Thank you all.

He won’t commit. Does he really not want me? 😞

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