Hello, I am new to this app and was intrigued by this group because of my situation.

I’m 17, about to be 18 in a about two weeks and just recently started dating a guy 15 years older than I am.

He is 32...

At first we worked together, and I grew increasingly fond of him. His ridiculous laughter made my work days better, his stories intrigued me, and I always worry for him and love to listen. We both suffer similar issues with mental health, dealing with trauma.

Which is now my current issue, I do very much like him. I mean, we are dating. But I can’t help but have my anxiety and sexual assault trauma get the better of me and think that he may be using me, that he might just want more for sex. Mainly because my older sister and my best friend, who are both sexual assault and abuse survivors also place this fear in me. It’s making me anxious... My best friend concerned that he is grooming me, (term for pedophilia), but our emotions are mutual? And I’m afraid to bring our relationship up one day with my family... They can be super hypercritical...

I’m not ready for any sexual activities of course, and the thought of it is triggering horrible memories. I’m afraid that if I were to even do anything with him, I’d have a panic attack.

I’m honestly afraid, I love him but God, I’m anxious to Hell.

For those of you with past of Sexual assault/abuse and have panic disorder/PTSD, or have a family with such. How do you all handle it? How do you handle family and your doubts?