I feel like releasing some stuff off my chest, I don’t ask for pity or anything nobody in my life really knows what I’ve been through, I suffer from depression and anxiety afterwards,When I was growing up I was a very lonely child I didn’t have any sister only brothers and in 5th grade my brother brought his gf to live with us she made my life a living hell she was in 11th grade and I was a 6 grader she was constantly tell me I was a fat cow and ugly with terrible teeth(I needed braces I knew already) she did that every time I would eat and that was that for years then in high school I became anorexic I lost 90 pounds I weighed 110 pounds and I wanted to be 100 pounds so badly and in my eyes I still felt “fat” probably what didn’t help is all my friends left my over rumors at school, I later began cutting myself my mom saw it once and she told my brother he then commented I was being Demi lovato and joked it off my mom never told me anything, i got a bit better and finished high school I pushed myself to keep going my family couldn’t really help during that time my oldest brother got deported so my mom didn’t pay much attention to me, I had to be strong, I finished high school don’t mean to sound full of myself but I did it myself with no help but God’s will, I then started WSU and from there experienced 2 sexual assaults and 1 assult there I thought of suicide I almost did it I drank and went outside and thought of jumping since my dorm was in a hill side, but god did my life get worse I met a boy I was 19 at this point and he has 21, we fell in love and I fell pregnant my pregnancy was hell my family let us live with them but would constantly bring up I was a failure and my boyfriends family blamed me and even his brother told me he hoped me and my baby would just die,I started bleeding and the doctor told me I had miscarriaged I begged for an ultrasound he said it wasn’t worth it “it” was probably out but he ended up doing it and my baby had a heartbeat and he said that’s the last thing that gives up it’s probably brain dead and the chances of it living was 9% but god was in my side because my baby survived and she’s now 2 but the pregnancy was hell I was in bed rest and got a kidney infection my ob said I was fine and couldn’t handle the pregnancy when I had the kidney infection I went to the hospital and got diagnosed with it they told me if I would of waited a day I would of gotten septic and be dead, but I’m alive I’m alive god I’m alive I ended up getting pregnant 3 months afterwards and god was I sick constantly again and I was living in a tiny room at my moms house, I became suicidal after the birth of my second child and had to be put in antidepressants and my family judges me for it now but I know my mental health needed it, I don’t know if all of this makes sense but it’s 2:30am and my Brain is thinking too much I guess, but I thank god I’m “happy” still in antidepressants but have 2 healthy baby girls and a fiancé and we have our own place thankfully, me at my smallest and me now after gaining a lot of weight during my pregnancies and then losing some and having a happier life now after 2 csections and 2 babies later happier than ever❤️