I'm 43... And this is my story...

So my last period was really strange. It came a couple days early, which was not normal. Then it went away... Like totally away... Poof.... gone. Then came back and went away again. Like playing peek-a-boo... I was like wtf? So I took a test and it was negative... Then it came storming in like there was something to prove all heavy and angry and clotty and nasty and mean for about 4 days.... Granted, by now it's been about 9 days since it's made first appearance... Then disappears for a a day or 2 and come back and lingers for another 2-3... Strange, right? So now, I'm all confused in my charting and don't know what's up with my body and what my actual "first day of my last cycle" was... So heaven forbid I have to go see a doc ... You know how the nurse looks at you... Like, "how do you NOT know this? You're a grown woman and it's your body...." Blah blah blah... So I'm confused... Back to my story... So the other day, I notice some spotting, kinda pinkish/brownish... Not too concerned. So today, I notice some more of the same spotting... So I check my cycle days and according to the calculations of my LAST "first day, last cycle" I'm 4 days away from AF... So I'm thinking maybe implantation? Maybe not... So I stop at the drug store... Took a test... Negative... but then, who knows? My flippin' charts are all outta whack and my body don't know what the hell it wants to do... And all I know is I feel like Marissa Tomei in "My Cousin Vinny" when she's stomping her foot , talking about her biological clock... Lol