This might be all over the place.

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and it’s the absolute best. He takes care of me and vice versa but he does more for me than I do for him because I suffer from chronic body pain. Fibromyalgia and I have other health issues I’m a full time college student and I don’t work much because of my health issues. I am able to do what a normal 21 year old girl would do but I have to have limits because if I do too much I might trigger a flare(increase of fibromyalgia symptoms) and it might last hours to days. Today we were talking and he’s hitting a rough patch in life as we were talking he was mentioning how he needs to be more focused on his goals(career being financially stable etc) and how he has things holding him back and he keeps getting distracted by eating out, going out, smoking weed(occasionally),and hanging around I started to feel a way about it because that’s what we literally do together I took it as a subliminal message and I really don’t want to make it about myself and I feel bad for taking it as a sub..we continue talking and my shirt lifts and I say jokingly sorry I’m a little chubby now (which is true) and he laughs with me and starts talking about how I need to be more motivated, I’m letting myself go...when we first started dating I was 99 pounds I couldn’t gain weight when I was younger because I was sick I’m now 125 and never been so happy about it and he says whenever I text you; you aren’t doing anything you’re always laying down basically he was implying that I was lazy at this point I feel like I want to cry because before we got together I told him I have a illness that takes a part of my everyday being I can’t go out in the world and live life normally——

The conversation we had he included me in his future he says he just wants to be successful so we can have a good life but he Also made it seem like I’m holding him back from getting successful.

I just feel like a burden now... I feel so bad about myself..I get a lot of shit from my family about how I’m “lazy” but I’m not.. if I push myself too much I will suffer from it later. I do the bare minimum with everything unless it’s work or school that’s the only thing I fully put my all into.

I hate that I’m too sensitive..