Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years now. In the past he cheated on me, lied to me and I still stayed.. We lost a baby and we went through and an emotional roller coaster and we still made it through.

The problem is i still had trust issues and we spoke about it.. He has communication issues where we will go for days not talking, He will go out of state and I will find out and I will be mad because he didn’t tell me

I call him, text him, sometimes he will will ignore me.. Most of the times I felt like I was in the relationship alone . I felt unwanted and unappreciated.. Last night we had a fight and I told him.. i am always checking on him its never the other way around.. Because of luck of communication I am not sure if I want to try anymore .. I said I was going to leave him alone, he can do his thing ima do mine.

He replied back making me feel guilty. He said I never loved him and I made the decision about leaving a long time a go and all that..

Trust, communication and committed is a really big thing for me.. Do you guys think I made the right decision? How do I heal and not feel guilty ?

I feel like he never went miles for me to love me enough, for me to be able to trust him again. I told him if he could put in the effort and earn my trust.. I told him gaining trust is a healing process and I don’t think he understands how it mentally affected me in general ..