I dont want to be alone anymore

I'm sorry about the sad post. I just dont know what to do anymore. Since my son was born I feel like I've lost my family. His dad left when I got pregnant and I refused to get an abortion. Over time I've drifted away from the friends I had before my son. I think it's mostly because we are in such difficult situations and stages in our lives. Many of them dont want children or are just not ready to have them and I totally understand that. I also understand that its really hard to plan to see them around the baby's schedule. I still love the friends I used to see and would do anything for them if they needed. I dont think anyone is to blame for the drifting apart. One friend in particular lost a pregnancy and it was too difficult for her to be around me and my child so she lashed out at me in a really bizarre way and explained herself later. I wish her the best but I'm unable to trust her around me and my child anymore.

My family is very religious and because I had a baby outside of marriage I'm seen as a sinner. They tell me that the only thing worse than what I've done is murder. Its obviously not easy to be around them and its obvious that they dont actually want me around but they tolerate me because they want to see my baby. It's fine but it doesnt help the loneliness.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you deal with it?