Ok...where do I start. This is going to be long but I really need some advise here. So I have been in some abusive and manipulative realtionships in the past. "Guy A," that I was with, I was with him for 2 years trying to have a kid, moving in together, and engaged when I was 19. A week before our 2 years he left me dor another woman. When he came crawling back I stood up for myself and moved on. I started dating again and was having a good time then I met "Guy B" in october. We hit it off and I found myself drawn to him. He's kind and caring. He's very patient and great with kids, along side he's good woth money,(to a point.) I spent a year with him but let me explain. We started dating in November and then I found out I was pregnant in January. (moving fast) We made the decision to have an abortion becaise I had taken so many plann b pills and found out I had a std that the child could have serious issues later on and I didnt want to do that to my kid along side the fact we weren't ready. So after that he had quit his job and I took up the bills. Then he got another job(with my help)....he quit that one... (both times he did not give a 2 week notice or call in he just stopped showing up.)then he got another but it was stay at home...We had stopped going out and we stopped hanging out with friends. I started to feel neglected. I tried to take a break not once...not twice... but four different times and he kept pulling me back in and we'd try different tactics to try to make this work. I was head over heels for this guy. I wanted to make a life with him and I truely think I still can but he has serious depretion and anxiety...I finally cut it off in december focusing on myself and my family. He helped me learn to trust and my worth and I will be forever greatfull. However, in trying to be friends again I took some time in being a part from him. This cause serious deprestion on his part. I found out a few days ago from him tjat he tried to commit suicide....This broke me....I was already vunrable becaust my grandmother passed away on the 13th...And knowing that this person I cared for....was at that point scared me. I met up with him and we went to tje drive in and he ended up opening up to me even more...I ended up going over to keep an eye on him and things started to get intament and passionate. We had sex...I found out that morning he was taking me to the drive in to say his goodbyes...he was going to try again...I have been on the phone with him all night worried I'm not going to see him again. Even now I am on the phone as he sleeps writing this. During our time apart I went out and started dating again... Now I don't know what to do. I myself dont know if the things I said to him were just to keep him alive or because I really ment it. Just as much as all this suicide stuff...is it real or is he manipulating me to stay? I don't know what to do. I dont want to cause him to kill himself. I want him to live. But I dont know if I want to be with him for the rest of my life... please help...I dont know what to do and how to handle this...