Update at bottom.

I am just so completely done! Over the last 6 years of ttc my husband and I have had our ups and downs by i think i mightve lost my mind.. say what you want but I'm 24 and having an affair with a 44year old. I just cant stop and honestly I dont think I want to. I know it seems rediculous but I truly blame infertility and our pregnancy losses for my cheating. My husband and I have no passion anymore and it's a chore to even be around eachother. I think the only reason we stay together is because We both want a baby so badly. It wont fix our relationship if/when we finally have a baby I know that, maybe I'll stop cheating then, I don't know. Hes been married for 20 years and has kids but its really about passion we have I trust him more then I trust my husband. Our affair is thrilling and exciting and amazing. We cuddle, hold hands, have sex, makeout.. everything intimacy should be! And I just cant stop.

Update, I didnt post here to get rude comments I thought this was the confession section so thats what I was doing.. I do love my husband and I just dont think I could make it financially without him. My fwb actually asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend and make this a long term affair so that's what we're doing.