My SO is not comforting at all.

I had a miscarriage beginning January 4th. I stopped bleeding around the 18th.

The other day I asked for some chocolate on his way home. He got home, I asked where my chocolate was and he carelessly says "well you're not pregnant." And I get upset. He says "I didn't mean it like that."

Anyway, I asked if we could have another baby when I healed. He says no and that we don't need another. That really hurt considering I want another baby and I feel it'll help somewhat with how badly I'm hurt.

Well, he hasn't really talked to me about the whole situation. Never asked If I needed to talk, vent, cry, nothing.

He didn't care that I was bleeding out and I literally had to do dishes, cook supper for the family (we have 2 boys already.) (Almost 3 & 1yo), I had to change diapers, give baths, put them to bed (oldest has insomnia and sometimes refuses to sleep until 2-5am), I had to clean the house. I never get breaks. He don't help with the kids. Even when I'm depressed over this and in pain, he didn't help. I'm just in a dark spot.

I want another baby so so bad.

I want a man to step tf up.

Literally. He maybe changes 1-2 diapers every FEW MONTHS. I can't tell you the last time he gave a kid a bath. And he has NEVER cooked. Maybe microwave a few things every so often but even then he expects me to do that. He never does laundry. Never cleans up. Expects me to do ALL of it.

He also has a 5 year old before me.

Which he is AWFUL! he doesn't listen. He poops his underwear on PURPOSE to smear on the walls.

He hits us, tells us he hates us, etc.

Has talked about killing us/other people.

Has tried to hurt my babies.

And yet, I am made to take care of him too??

Sorry this is so long.

I just needed to vent..

My SO also complains If i don't lay his work clothes out every morning.

He complains i don't do anything and I'm lazy because he works and I'm a stay at home mom.

He says I need to get up and get a job.

I've stayed home because I have exclusively breast fed and my kids never took a bottle.

My 1st finally weaned at 19 months.

My youngest is 14 months and still beeastfeeding.

I also don't have my licence atm (I'm 22) because I have awful anxiety and tbh, my parents never taught me. I've never had anyone willing to teach me. So how am I supposed to learn when I have nobody or a vehicle to use?

My life is a big mess.

I want to leave but I can't. I'm afraid that if I do, my kids won't be watched good by him, he may not change them when needed, he may not bathe them.

Also, he makes his 5 year old wait to eat if I'm not home, busy, etc until I can. He's made him wait hours to eat before. So how do I know he would even feed them when they're hungry??

Also, his mom treats his 5 year old better than my 2 boys.

For example, asks the 5 year old if he wants to go to eat, park, play areas, etc.

Never asks my boys.

She sometimes takes them but it's always what the oldest wants to do.

She randomly buys the 5yo toys, candy, clothes, etc and brings them over with nothing for my boys.

When we have the 5yo they always ask about him, to see him, etc but not my boys.

She gets him $60 shoes but my boys $10 shoes.

She says we don't need to do stuff with our boys unless we have the 5yo that day. But yet she takes the 5yo alone to other places and suddenly that's fair??

I could go on and on but this is pretty long..

I also forgot to mention, my SO has been complaining I don't want to have sex and I wasn't cleared by my doctor anyway. He constantly asks me to suck his dick and gets mad when I tell him no. He says since i stopped bleeding i can do something. Even when I was bleeding he'd make comments about "well your mouth ain't bleeding." Like?? Really?? I'm upset and you want to be this way?