Question for second time moms about a tricky family situation.

LP

My husband’s grandmother is in hospice care and all she talks about is meeting the baby. Hospice end of life care means that her prognosis is less than 6 months. As people like to remind me, the baby gives her “purpose”. Well, it gives me stress.

I want her to be able to meet the baby if she’s still around. But I’m really nervous about her declining right when the baby comes. It’s very possible. She started hospice in January and baby isn’t due until May 7th. Ahhhh 😩 I’ve never had a baby before. I don’t know what recovery will be like. I don’t want to feel pressured to hurry out with my newborn baby before we’re ready if she’s declining. My husband is very supportive, but I don’t think he fully comprehends what it’s going to be like that first week. I don’t even know exactly what to expect but I hear it’s no walk in the park. He asked, “If, grandma isn’t doing well, but you’re still recovering, can’t I just take the baby over there for an hour?” Is that reasonable? I don’t want to be a bitch, but I feel like I don’t want to be away from my brand new baby a few days postpartum. I don’t know how long recovery might take, etc.

How should I answer my husband’s question? If I feel like garbage, is there a reason why he shouldn’t take the baby to meet his grandma without me at just a few days old? His grandma is 20 minutes away. Are there any worries for the baby? The baby comes first. I don’t want to stand in the way if it’s down to the wire with his grandma, I just want to make sure I’m getting enough information to make the right decision for my baby. If I need to say no, I want to make sure I have a good reason because I don’t want his whole family to be pissed at me if that happens. And most importantly, I want to be able to explain to my husband the concerns.

Any suggestions or advice would be very appreciated.